Who am I?

ChasingNehemiah

Who am I?

I am a man on a journey.
I am a Nehemiah, sent to rebuild the walls of Jerusalem.
I am a seeker, malcontent with trite, self-serving faith.
I am a broken piece of pottery, being refashioned by a Master potter.

My name is Peter Varvais.  In the grand scheme of things, I’m a nobody.  I’m just an average guy whose life was changed eternally, whose greatest passion is in pleasing Him who saved me, whose greatest joy is found in worship and in passionately pursuing a relationship with Jesus Christ.

This blog exists to share what I learn in the process.

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8 thoughts on “Who am I?

  1. greg836 says:

    I now believe that we all are striving for something better and, in doing so, are trying to make the most of our personal, spiritual, physical and professional pistons of the human machine. When one of those stops firing as efficiently, the others react and have to work more…..like clogged ventricles to the heart. I have no answers yet, but am still looking for the perfect tune up……I’m going to some great “garage / repair shops,” for an overhaul of all of the aforementioned….but then am slowed by the failing machines of friends and family…..be they personal, spiritual, physical or professional. All I can say now is that I am keenly aware, of not only mine but all of those who surround me and whom I love. I will keep searching……

  2. greg836 says:

    I’ve walked the halls, this past weekend, of a well appointed care facility in Green Hills, Nashville, TN…..i’ve peered into the different rooms, on my journey to the end of the hall……where my Mom is recovering……many thoughts of past and present ( and future ) flood me….as i am an unwanted voyeur, into the pain of others’ existence and apparent demise….. some days, I am hopeful and energized / on others, i am full of regret and despair, of what could have been better…..many of my friends have already lost many loved ones; to them, this is no surprise…..but it is, nonetheless, a wake up call…..how i will reconcile this with my own spiritual awakening, remains to be seen…..but i have discovered some new influences…..i remain eternally grateful! good night!

  3. greg836 says:

    sorry, i’ve been buggin you so much Peter; just liked your ramblings and sorting things out myself, on this journey back….i will refrain moving forward…..keep posting your thoughts on scripture; i’ll get back one day….hopefully!..

  4. greg836 says:

    right when things are on the upswing, a downturn happens in the middle of the night….guess i was awakened by a dream, that now looks like a nightmare again…..Mom is back at St. Thomas, with what appears to be a secondary heart attack……she is awake, cognizant and has asked for a bottle of morphine for Christmas 2014……..sigh

  5. greg836 says:

    just ranting now Peter after a month of this; please delete…..but i somehow found someone of the Faith, that was hopefully objective……please allow me this and never mention at work……i will be back on my game, one way or the other….after resolution…..i’m exhausted….but thanks for greeting me and listening to me….i’ll never show my ass like this again….it’s challenging to watch someone decay, whether it be quickly or slowly…..as I am watching now…especially, when they are those that raised you in a Faith, that one never saw them truly manifest or espouse, in their own lives…..just pray for me….and forgive me….i would have never reached out to you, other than having found your writings on here….

    • peterv says:

      Hey brother, I appreciate you sharing. I was fast asleep by 9pm last night (a new record for me I think) so I’m just now catching up on email and things here.

      You definitely have a lot of simultaneously challenging emotional stressors all at once hitting you. There is no trite “spiritual” advice I would casually fling at you during this time… And sometimes no matter how true a sentiment is, it just doesn’t help when you are in a place of hurt and can’t see the forest for the trees. I’ve been there lots.

      You’ve been under a lot of strain and pain recently. You’re at your breaking point. You feel like you’ve been knocked down for different reasons and in different situations and you’re at the end of yourself. The Lord doesn’t introduce pain without bringing deliverance from it. And what he is changing in and through you, through this pain, is going to be only for good in your life. You may not be able to see it because of where you’re at and that’s okay. But God does, and He acts for our good even when we don’t see it because HE IS FAITHFUL. He won’t bring you into this season of pain and weariness without having a purpose for it and a redemption through it. He is a faithful God. So keep pushing through no matter how much it hurts and cry as much as you need to. There WILL BE an “other side” of this place you’re in.

      Be blessed today my brother.

  6. greg836 says:

    best words of encouragement i’ve heard this AM….bonused by words from my boss Velva and my buddy Jeff, who is about to embark on a mission trip, in ten days….with Brentwood Baptist……guess there is a method to my madness of surrounding myself with people of Faith; which i used to stray away from…..my usual crowd is the heavy drinkin, rich, spoiled middle agers….with metal heads….Thank you Peter!….God led me to you and to Jeff and to Velva…and all of the good ones…thank you! i’ll keep trying!

    • greg836 says:

      it is still rough Peter; i spent the day at St. Thomas with family and best litl’ bro Jeff Snyder and best friend from first grade, Rita Simmons Austin….Mom’s surgery did not take…..she will go soon….it is a matter of time…I came home and went to bed at eight….and then awakened at ten….so i am hoping for sleep now, so that I may get back to Cigna, in the AM….Velva has been awesome.

      I fear that I have forced myself on you, not knowing you….during this time….but, for some reason, I feel that it is ok…..and thank you for listening to a stranger.

      I am
      a raging European liberal….but for some reason i have Jeff and all of my friends, from conservative to the opposite end of the spectrum….i think I am finally ready to listen to the Word, in which I was raised….but i do not want to hear it from my entitled, fundamentalist family….Mom knows Jeff and appreciates his young influence on me, with the Bible….she does not yet know, that her chances are slim…..but Jeff and I went in to see her this afternoon….she grabbed my hand on one side of the bed and grabbed Jeff’s on the other side and asked him to make sure that I was forgiven …..that was a big load for all of us…..I promised her to try….

      Jeff and I drove back to Franklin…he dropped me off at my place and grabbed me and said: “Greg, God is Faithful….there is a reason you and I are here right now”….I said “OK”….and came upstairs to decompress

      so that is where I am now…..and thank you for your blog, your patience and your encouragement……I feel so creepy leaning on a stranger….but somehow, you mean something to what I have left to give….thanks Brother!

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